Recently I got an email from a listener who is 19 and in college. I don't hear from many women her age, and her message stopped me in my tracks. I have a 17-year-old and an 18-year-old about to graduate from high school, so she's right in my kids' range. In this season of motherhood, I'm surrounded by Gen Z, and I see their need for honest, God-honoring conversations about sexuality.
She gave me permission to share her story, and I think every one of us, whether we're 19 or 90, can learn from it.
She grew up thinking sex was scary
She has chosen to wait for marriage, and she feels confident in that decision. But she also told me she has spent most of her life anxious and afraid of sex. She had always seen it as something scary, even dirty.
Then one of her college professors taught a lesson on female anatomy. She realized how little she actually knew about her own body, and the way it was presented left her feeling disturbed rather than curious.
If that sounds familiar, you're in good company. It sounds a lot like so many of the women I've walked with in their 40s, 50s, and 60s.
One conversation with her mom changed her direction
She talked with her mom about the class. Her mom helped her see that learning about her body didn't have to feel disturbing or disconnected from God.
That simple encouragement opened a door. She went looking for someone who could teach her about female anatomy, pleasure, and sex from a godly perspective, and she found the podcast. In her words, she wants to move away from fear and shame and toward understanding, peace, and appreciation for the way God created us.
Moms, aunties, and mentors: you don't need to know everything about anatomy or the nervous system to make a difference. Simply saying "you don't have to be disgusted when you learn about God's good design" can shift a young woman's path from shutdown to open, from disgust to worship.
Why faith and sexuality can feel like two separate channels
Many of us grew up with a split view: you can't be a serious Christian and also be alive sexually. It's like two channels, where one has to be on while the other is off.
That split shows up in subtle ways. You might notice it in how you react to touch, to conversations about God and sex, or to learning about your own body. Disgust, anxiety, and avoidance are often signals that your nervous system feels overrun. They're also an invitation to come back to God and ask: How did I get here? Where did I get off the path of joy and connection with You?
Celebration, education, and integration
Her story shows the three pillars I keep coming back to in my teaching.
Celebration. When God finished creation and made male and female, He called it very good. Our bodies and our sexuality reveal something of His nature. Sex is not a duty, a dread, or a curse. It's a gift.
Education. When she started learning without a sense of celebration, she felt disgusted. Once she understood she could approach her body from a place of God's goodness, learning about her anatomy became a place of joy.
Integration. This is bringing our sexual story and our spirituality together, and connecting what we know in our heads with what we experience in our bodies. It's daily practices that keep us anchored in our bodies and present in the moment, so our spirituality and our sexuality become friends instead of being at war.
You don't have to be married to be alive in your body
She picked up on something many of us miss. You don't have to be in a sexual relationship to be alive in your feminine body. You can be awake to sensation, beauty, movement, and joy in every season, without making it hypersexualized.
Gen Z is asking. Are we available?
Young women are looking for something more than hookup culture, something deeper than porn, and something more meaningful than surface-level selfies. They want to understand God's design.
If you have young women in your church, small group, or neighborhood, be available to them. Share your story. Tell them the good news: your body is not an object to be consumed, a burden, or a distraction. It's a gift and a blessing.
And if you're asking the same question she asked, "Can I be a Christian and be sexual?", you're not alone. This is a journey, and it unfolds in layers over a lifetime. The more we open our whole selves to God's design, the more we can walk in freedom and pass it on to the next generation.
Want to go deeper? The Circle is a place of prayer, honest conversation, and not walking this journey alone. I'd love for you to join us in the Circle, my group mentorship where women gather to talk honestly about healing and discover God's good design together: Circle.
Have a question you want Francie to tackle on the podcast? Send her an email — she's always taking notes.