Thirteen Ways to Bring More Fun Into Your Marriage Bed (Yes, Really)
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By Francie Winslow
Can I say something that might surprise you?
One of the most underrated ingredients in a truly great sex life isn't technique, timing, or even emotional connection — though all of those matter. It's fun. Genuine, lighthearted, we're-both-actually-enjoying-this fun.
Somewhere along the way, for a lot of us, sex got heavy. It became loaded with expectation, pressure, performance anxiety, or the quiet weight of all the times it didn't go the way we hoped. And heavy is the enemy of good. Heavy makes you want to avoid rather than engage. Heavy turns what was meant to be a gift into one more thing on the list.
This episode is the antidote to heavy. And it is one of my favorites in the whole series.
Why Fun Is Serious Business
Before we get into the practical ideas — and there are thirteen of them waiting for you in this episode — I want to make a case for why fun actually matters. Because I know some of you are reading this thinking, fun sounds nice, but our issues run a little deeper than that.
Here's what I've found: playfulness and lightheartedness aren't just nice extras that show up once everything else is fixed. They're often the thing that starts to loosen what's been stuck. Laughter creates safety. Novelty interrupts the pattern of going through the motions. A moment of genuine silliness or surprise can do more to shift the atmosphere between two people than a very serious conversation about what's been missing.
Proverbs tells us a joyful heart is good medicine. That's not just a nice sentiment — it's a design principle. And it applies here too.
The Problem With Predictable
Here's a gentle question: when was the last time something genuinely unexpected or playful happened in your intimate life?
For a lot of couples — especially in busy seasons with kids, work, and the general weight of adulting — intimacy defaults to a familiar script. Same time, same place, same sequence. And familiar isn't bad. But when familiar becomes the only option, something starts to quietly drain out of the experience.
Novelty matters because our brains are wired to pay attention to what's new. A small injection of something different — a different room, a different time of day, a new idea, a little anticipation built over text — signals to your nervous system that something interesting is happening. It brings you back into the present. It makes you participants again rather than passengers.
You don't need a grand gesture. You need a small, intentional shift.
Thirteen Ideas Are Waiting for You
In this episode I share thirteen specific, practical, and genuinely doable ideas for bringing more fun and playfulness into your marriage. Some are simple. Some are a little outside the comfort zone. Some will make you laugh. Some will make you think oh, we could actually do that.
I'm not going to list them all here — honestly, part of the joy is hearing them in Francie's voice, in the spirit they were intended. But I will tell you this: they range from the surprisingly simple to the creatively bold, and every single one of them is accessible to a real woman living a real life.
The goal isn't to do all thirteen. The goal is to find one — just one — that makes something in you light up a little and think yes, that one. Then go do that one. Let it be playful. Let it be imperfect. Let it be fun.
A Word About Margin
Here's the thing that makes all of this possible — or impossible, depending: margin. Time. Space. A moment where the phone is down and the laundry can wait and your husband is actually the most interesting thing in the room.
Fun doesn't flourish in the cracks of a completely full life. It needs a little breathing room. And creating that margin — even imperfectly, even just occasionally — is one of the most loving things you can do for your marriage.
You don't have to carve out a whole evening. Sometimes twenty minutes of intentional presence is enough to completely shift the temperature between two people. But you do have to choose it. Fun, like everything else in a growing marriage, requires a little intention.
Permission to Not Be Serious About This
Before you listen, I want to give you full permission to laugh. To be a little awkward. To try something and have it not go perfectly and laugh about that too. The goal of this episode isn't a flawless intimate encounter — it's a marriage where two people are genuinely enjoying each other. Imperfection is allowed. Silliness is welcome. The bar is not perfection. The bar is are we having fun?
That's a bar worth going after.
Want to keep exploring what it means to live fully in your female body — with confidence, joy, and freedom? Check out these resources? Check these out:
Have a question you want Francie to tackle on the podcast? Send her an email — she's always taking notes.