Ep. 245 | Stressed Out, Touched Out
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By Francie Winslow
Sometimes, the days blur together with noise, demands, and the constant pull of being needed. The body keeps going, often on autopilot. But beneath the surface, there can be a slow burnout—a sense of being so overextended and overstimulated that even a loving touch feels like too much.
In this episode of Female by Design, I open a conversation that is all too real (and I’ve heard from so many women who have experienced this): what happens when we feel touched out…and, I can’t imagine leaning in for intimacy? Oh, how I relate.
A big part of this is understanding what your body needs (and doesn’t need) and I think for too long we’ve been led to believe that touch and intimacy are about his needs…and, that’s so far from the truth.
Your female body is wired for connection, and touch is a part of that.
Let’s break down four types of touch to unpack how understanding our design can actually help “reset” our nervous system.
When we don’t know how to name what we need, or how to honor our bodies in each season, it’s easy to feel shut down or confused. But God’s design for our bodies includes touch that restores, not just depletes. Touch that grounds us, delights us, reconnects us to ourselves, our spouses, and to God’s presence within us.
Here’s a simple framework that’s been deeply helpful in my own life and marriage:
Nurture Touch
This is the kind of touch that calms the nervous system. A hand on the back, a warm embrace, even placing your own hand over your heart and breathing deeply. It tells the body: you are safe. This kind of touch makes space for stillness, for comfort, for God’s nearness in the midst of stress.
Playful Touch
Joy doesn’t have to be loud or extravagant. It might be a quick kiss on the forehead, a dance in the kitchen, or a lighthearted nudge. Playful touch reminds us that delight matters. It shifts the atmosphere and invites levity into our connection.
Affectionate Touch
This is the kind of touch that communicates, I see you. I like being near you. It can be a long hug at the end of the day, holding hands while talking, or a quiet snuggle without an agenda. Affection is a slow-building connector, creating a foundation of emotional intimacy.
Erotic Touch
Often assumed to be the starting point, erotic touch was never meant to stand alone. When it follows a foundation of nurture, playfulness, and affection, it becomes a richer expression of unity. It’s not about performance—it’s about presence. It’s a holy overflow of being fully known and received.
There is no shame in needing to slow down. There is no shame in needing new rhythms of connection. The invitation is to recognize how your body was designed…to be honored, not pushed. To be listened to, not overlooked.
Whether you're in a season of chaos or quiet, God meets you in your body. In your breath. In your longings. And even in your weariness.
Let this be a gentle nudge to pause, breathe, and ask, “What kind of touch do I need today?” You were made for connection, not just sexual connection, but soul-deep, life-giving touch that renews.
I’m with you on this journey of reclaiming what’s good, what’s true, and what God designed to bring life, in our bodies, in our marriages, and in our everyday moments.
If this resonates, I hope you’ll listen to the episode…and if you’re ready to take one more step, I’d love to invite you to my new class:
Becoming Confident with Sexy Talk – a 90-minute masterclass to help you find your voice before, during, and after sex. No pressure. Just freedom.