To Wax, Shave, or Not? A Shame-Free Guide to Intimate Grooming
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By Francie Winslow
Let's Just Have the Conversation
If you've ever wondered Should I wax? Should I shave? Is this okay? — you're not alone. It's one of the most commonly asked questions I get, and also one of the least talked about.
Because it feels too private. Too awkward. Too much.
But here's the thing: the more we avoid conversations about our bodies — even the practical, everyday ones — the more we stay stuck in shame. And shame has never been God's design for us.
So in this episode of the Female By Design Podcast, I open up the conversation on intimate grooming: the history, the health considerations, the practicalities, and ultimately — your freedom to choose.
First Things First: There Is No Right Answer
Before anything else, I want you to take a breath and hear this clearly: there is no law written in stone about this. No biblical mandate. No Christian rule. No one-size-fits-all answer.
What matters is that you're not ashamed, that you're making informed decisions, and that what you choose reflects what feels right, healthy, and good for you — not what culture, comparison, or someone else's opinion has imposed on you.
This Is Not a Modern Problem
One of the most fascinating takeaways from this episode? Intimate grooming is not a new conversation — not by thousands of years.
Women in ancient Egypt had a style preference for a triangular bikini line. Look through Western art, sculpture, and painting across the centuries, and you'll find that body hair on women has been styled, removed, or shaped across virtually every culture and era.
This is not a product of modern pornography or cultural perversion. It is a topic women have navigated throughout all of human history. So if you've felt vaguely suspicious of the whole conversation, you can let that go.
What the Research Actually Says
I reference The Vagina Bible by Dr. Jen Gunter — a physician-written resource that covers women's anatomy, health, and care with a frank, medically grounded approach. Think of it as what you wish your OB had time to tell you. (I recommend it for you and for your daughters as they grow.)
Here's some of what the research shows:
About pubic hair itself: Pubic hair does serve biological purposes. It helps protect the vulva from bacteria, stimulates nerve endings that can enhance sensation, and plays a role in dispersing natural scent and pheromones. If you choose to keep it, there are genuine physiological reasons it's there.
About how common removal is: 83% of women between the ages of 18 and 65 report removing pubic hair partially or completely at some point in their lives. It is an extremely common consideration — you are not unusual for thinking about it.
About partner preferences: Research cited in the book indicates 60% of men prefer no pubic hair, and 23% of women prefer their male partners to be hairless as well. My encouragement: make it a conversation with your spouse. What do you prefer? What does he prefer? It's a perfectly good thing to talk about.
The Health and Safety Side of Things
This is where Dr. Gunter's medical perspective becomes genuinely useful. Because you get to choose — but you should choose safely.
The safest option: Trimming with an electric trimmer (think a small, feminine version of a beard trimmer — easily found on Amazon). Trimming cuts above the skin surface, reducing the risk of cuts, razor burn, and skin trauma.
Shaving: Can cause razor burn and small nicks that open the door to infection. If you do shave, make sure skin is clean beforehand.
Waxing or sugaring: Generally safe, but if you go to a salon, make sure they use a fresh wooden applicator every single time they dip into the wax — no double-dipping. Cross-contamination is a real concern.
Important medical note: Women with diabetes, elevated blood sugar, or suppressed immune systems (such as those on chemotherapy or managing autoimmune conditions) should be especially cautious. Any small injury in that area could lead to serious infection. Know your body and your risk factors.
General best practice: Bathe before any grooming to reduce the presence of bacteria and lower infection risk.
What Actually Matters: Confidence and Connection
Beyond the research, I get personal. I’ve tried a little of everything — and is not a fan of shaving (hello, razor burn). And, my personal preference is trimming and waxing, and here's why it matters to me:
It makes me feel confident. It makes me feel excited about intimacy. In her marriage, it's become a small but meaningful way of bringing energy and intention — like a little signal that says, I'm showing up for us.
That's not a rule. It's not a requirement. It's just my experience.
The question for you is the same: What makes you feel confident? What makes you feel connected and joyful in your body? That's the right starting point — not guilt, not pressure, not comparison.
Practical Takeaways
There is no shame in having this conversation — with yourself, your spouse, your friends, or your doctor.
Do what you want, not what you feel pressured into — culturally or otherwise.
If you groom, prioritize safety: bathe first, use clean tools, choose trimming if you're prone to irritation.
If you have health conditions that affect healing or immunity, talk to your doctor before waxing or shaving.
Have the conversation with your husband — it might be easier than you think, and surprisingly fun.
You Get to Choose
That's the bottom line: you get to choose.
Not out of shame. Not out of pressure. Not because someone told you what "good Christian women" do or don't do. But out of knowledge, confidence, and a genuine desire to care for your body and enjoy your marriage.
Your body is good. You are known and loved by the God who made you — right down to the practical, everyday questions. There's no topic too small or too awkward to bring into the light.
🎧 Want to hear the full conversation? Listen to the episode.
Looking for more resources on understanding and caring for your female body? Check these out:
Have a question you want Francie to tackle on the podcast? Send her an email — she's always taking notes.