Ep. 241 | The Lies of Purity
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By Francie Winslow
Growing up in Christian culture, many of us heard the message: stay pure.
But what did that really mean?
For some, it meant avoiding certain behaviors.
For others, it meant not knowing too much.
For many, it meant tying our worth to a set of invisible standards — often wrapped in fear and shame.
In this final episode of the Lies I Believed series on the Female by Design podcast, we’re naming one of the most pervasive lies many of us inherited: that purity is about what you don’t do, don’t know, or don’t desire.
I’ll share my own journey, shaped by a sincere desire to honor, but also influenced by fear-driven teaching that defined purity as ignorance, inexperience, and silence. The result? A disconnection from my body, my desires, and even my ability to receive love in my marriage.
Here’s what you’ll find in this episode:
The difference between purity and ignorance.
How “not knowing” became a source of shame and isolation.
Why fear and control are poor foundations for sexual discipleship.
What purity looks like when it’s rooted in maturity, education, and connection.
How we can raise daughters (and sons) with clarity, confidence, and joy.
Purity is not the absence of experience, it’s the presence of something holy, whole, and honoring. It’s a way of living that’s deeply relational, centered in God’s love, and shaped by an honest, embodied understanding of who we are and how we’re made.
Whether you’re raising kids, untangling your own story, or just ready for a deeper vision of God’s design for sexuality — this episode is for you.
Let’s let go of the fear.
Let’s replace shame with connection.
Let’s pass on something better.